Deeper, deeper, deeper in love

            

This prideful side of me

lifts my fists and shakes at you

This prideful side of me

is being broken down by love

Oh you love me deeper, deeper, father

Oh you love me deeper, deeper, father

This broken side of me

it needs you so badly

This broken side of me

doesn’t understand you at all

Oh I need you deeper, deeper, Father.

Oh I need you deeper, deeper, Father.

This child side of me

lifts my hands to be held by you

This child side of me

is ecstatic in your love

Oh I love you deeper, deeper, father

Oh I love you deeper, deeper, father

I’m up to my toes

I’m up to my ankles

I’m up to my waist

I’m up to my neck

Deeper, deeper, deeper in love with you

Deeper, deeper, deeper in love

I built a palace around my heart

Would not let you have a part

Now come dismantle every room

Widen it and make it bloom

Your healing and rebuilding me

And my affections rise to sing

That everywhere the river flows

Your bringing life and bringing hope

Everywhere the river flows

Your bringing life and bringing hope

            The lyrics to this song bring the past 7 days to life as my words fail to. They were days of hard work, much joy, spiritual chaos, precious smiles, endless singing and dancing, serving until it hurt, loving without expectations…

            God answered prayers abundantly more than we could have asked or thought: protection, a harvest of hearts ready to hear the gospel, huge turnouts for our afternoon activities and Jesus Film showings each night, growth in attendance as each day progressed, great health amongst our team and the locals, many new believers, growth amongst the discipleship and leadership classes, and many new lessons learned.

            And yet amidst the growth and the beauty there was disunity, complaining, exhaustion, hurt feelings, aches and pains, challenged hearts, unhealed wounds, broken spirits…

            We are sinners. Our hearts are deceitfully wicked above all things, who can even understand it? The things we do, say, and think. It is a constant battle.

            Oh we need you deeper, deeper, Father. We are in desperate need of a savior. I saw that more this week than I have in a long time.

            And we have a savior, the Savior.

           

            He gave his life for our pride, our brokenness, our selfishness, and our insufficiency. He substituted his perfection for our utter depravity. He loves us deeper, deeper, deeper. He loves us as our perfect Father. He loves us as perfect husband. He loves us as a perfect friend. He is more than enough for every want, need, and desire and he gives us eternal satisfaction.

            That is what I saw this week. I saw a God who loves African bush children that have nothing. Nothing. Nothing but the smiles of joy on their faces and the melodies of Jehovah on their lips in constant rhythm. Yet they are completely content in who they are and what they have. And they are thankful. I saw a God who loves selfish Americans like me who have everything. Everything. Everything that leads to constant distractions and tempting permanence of ungratefulness. We are never content in who we are or with what we have. And yet he loves us. Yet he chooses to use us, in our utter depravity, to reveal his glory to even those who have nothing.

            It is a beautiful paradox. An incredible story. A truthful testimony.  Just like the song lyrics, life is process. It is a progression of seeing and realizing our sin, and feeling the weight it hold on us. Then seeing and realizing our need for him, our need to be washed clean. Then reaching out and telling him, being honest and transparent before him, trusting he will still love us. And as the progression continues we are led from telling ourselves he loves us to overflowing with a continuous relentless love for him. For only him.

            And we look back and we see that in a dry and scorched land, his brought living water to our souls and filled us overflowing. And he does it again. He has done it for me time and time again in my life, and this week was another example of his love and grace over my life. He is healing and rebuilding me and I pray my affections rise only to Him. Everywhere his river flows he brings healing, life and hope.

Remember not the former days, nor consider the past.

See I am doing a new thing. Can’t you see it?

I am making a way in your wilderness and rivers in your deserts.

–Isaiah 43:18-19